The Acid Queen

Original Airdate:	November 19, 2003
Writer:	Mark Hudis
Director:	David Trainer

Kelso's baffled when Brooke, a beautiful friend of Donna's, not only refuses to acknowledge that they had sex, but also tries to avoid him. And Jackie obsessively tries to force Hyde to say that Brooke isn't hot.

When Fez overhears two girls at The Hub saying they don't want to go to college as virgins, he decides he has a new calling. Donna comes in with Brooke, a real beauty. Kelso tells the guys she's the girl he made it with at the Molly Hatchet concert. They don't believe him. Nobody fools around with her, says Hyde. Michael says hello and reminds her who he is. Brooke doesn't know what he's talk about. Kelso's confused. Most girls lie about doing it with him when they haven't! Kelso just doesn't get it. The girl is actually avoiding him. Donna tells Hyde that she and Brooke worked on the school newspaper together. Kelso thinks the real truth is that they're both members of a secret Hot Girls' Club. Jackie asks Hyde if he thinks Brooke's hot. He answers honestly-absolutely! Jackie demands that he take it back. Fez asks Jackie if any of her college-bound friends are virgins. Jackie advises that he go to the local house of worship. That's where ugly girls pray to get pretty. Eric and Donna are in her room, and she's telling him about her first day at Point Place Junior College. Kelso comes in and starts rummaging around in Donna's stuff. He's looking for Brooke's phone number. Why won't Brooke admit they did it? They had a really great time that night, and it wasn't just the sex. Won't Donna please help him find her? Brooke works at the library, Donna tells him after he fails to understand several very broad hints. Jackie and Hyde are watching TV with Red and Kitty. Jackie comments on how hot Robert Redford and Paul Newman are. Hyde knows what she's up to. Why is she so insecure? Jackie denies it. She just wants Hyde to say that Brooke isn't hot. Kitty tells Hyde that white lies help a relationship. He needs to do the right thing and lie to the woman he loves! At the library, Kelso tries coming on to Brooke, but she slaps him down. He's not her type. She was valedictorian, and he's the antithesis of that. Kelso would just like to go out for coffee sometime and maybe a movie after that. Then maybe she could tell the guys that they really did make it at that concert. Brooke, very condescendingly, sends him on his way. She doesn't make it with guys at concerts. In the Forman basement, Kelso tells the guys he hopes there isn't really a Hot Girls' Club, because Brooke probably said terrible things about him at their last meeting. A fantasy sequence follows in which Donna, Jackie, Brooke and other hot girls hold one of their secret meetings. Back in the basement, Donna reminds Kelso that truly there is no such club. Then why is Brooke pretending that their night together didn't happen, wonders Kelso. Maybe she's embarrassed, says Donna. Brooke's used to dating brainy guys. Later, Eric and Kelso are at the library. Kelso tells Brooke he's not leaving until she agrees to go out with him. Brooke won't let Eric have the Playboy magazines he wants to check out. She advises him to buy Donna some flowers and thank God that an actual live woman lets him touch her. Back at the Formans, Jackie continues to pester Hyde about Brooke. Kitty subtly advises her to pick her battles. At last Jackie gets the message and says it's fine if Hyde really thinks Brooke's hot. The gang's in the basement when Kelso comes in defeated. Why doesn't he just admit that he didn't have sex with Brooke, Hyde asks. But he did, Kelso protests. To Kelso's amazement, Brooke comes in and tells him she needs to talk to him-about their night together. He breaks into a gigantic smile and looks at each of the gang. He was telling the truth! In front of everyone Brooke announces that she's just found out she's pregnant. "I never touched her," is Kelso's response.